My Lighter Life

Day Two - Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink!!

I decided to end Day One with a big mug of steaming thick & creamy, hot chocolate. Doesn't that sound delicious? Let's just say that Russell told me if I didn't stop making those 'disgusting retching noises' he was going to be sick himself! It's those bloody lumps again.

Cold - they are nasty little balls of yuk designed to explode in powdery grossness in your mouth.

Hot - a million times worse. When I was little my Mum used to put cooked mince meat in the freezer. When she took it out again all of the fat from the meat had risen to the surface and formed a solid, pale yellow layer which she would then lift off, as one piece, and either throw it away or put it out for the birds (I never quite understood that. Why would birds like mince meat fat? It did always disappear but I thought that had more to do with foxes than birds!!) Anyhoo, now picture that mince meat, having just been put in the freezer, and thick, fatty globules are rising to the surface. Coat those globules in a vaguely chocolate flavoured powder and imagine drinking/eating them. M'mmm lovely!!

So, I went to bed feeling sick & hungry and starting to think that I might have to give up my Lighter Life if I can't sort these bloody lumps out!!

In case you're wondering............ no I didn't dream about food. I dreamt about sex!! How bizarre is that? Not a sexual dream - so to speak - but just about sex. I have come to the conclusion that this is because I'm thinking about two of the great pleasures in life (in my opinion) ie Food and Sex (or food with sex, if that tickles your particular fancy!). I'm denied the food pleasure so my brain has opted to concentrate on sex instead. Russell thinks that's great and hopes I continue with this particular fixation for the rest of my LL.

Actually didn't feel too bad when I woke up though. No hunger pangs, full of energy and raring to go. Ok I admit that I did feel a slight twinge when I could smell Russell's toast cooking but it was a passing thought and no real biggie. Decided to try the raspberry shake for breakfast but I knew I couldn't possibly face another lumpy drink so I turned a couple of drawers upside down until I found the electric hand blender I bought some years ago and hardly ever used. What a transformation - suddenly the grotesqueness lumps have transformed in to a fluffy, bubbly delicious (ok so I'm stretching that one a little) thick milk shakes and I'm starting to believe I might actually get through this. FANTASTIC.

Decided to spend the rest of the day distracting myself from food so went shopping - any old excuse eh. I really was doing fine until I passed a burger bar and was hit by a wall frying onions. Ok so not actually hit by a wall of onions but the smell of them frying had exactly the same impact, in that I stopped suddenly and was unable to move. God that smell was delicious. What is it with me and onions?

Wiping the drool from the side of my mouth I gave myself a 'stay strong, you can do this' speech and moved on...........to my next challenge. The supermarket. Yep, I went straight from the frying pan (no pun intended) to the fire. Food everywhere I turned, I kept my head down and ploughed on, picking up chips & beans for Russell, avoiding the deli counter and the smell of cooking chicken. It was actually fairly easy, if I'm honest. Only because it was packed with people all getting in my way and faffing around so I allowed my desire for food to be overtaken by the desire to whip out an AK47 and clean house! Oops, might just have found another side effect - lack of patience bordering on psychosis. You have all been warned!!!!

The rest of the day passed without event - had a mushroom soup for my lunch (8/10 for taste and it had little bits of mushroom in so that was nice) and a vegetable soup (9/10 - definitely my favourite. Thick and golden and creamy - use your imagination enough and it could almost be a Covent Garden butternut squash soup - only there's much less of it) followed by caramel shake (ok I guess but too sweet for me) for my evening meal.

Then, just to prove how hardcore I really am........................a night out. The last ever Room 101 and there was no way I was going to miss that. Had a great night but wasn't my usual dancing fool and got absolutely sick of the taste of soda water but I was ok. Think the company helped - Joolz and Woolly; always a pleasure never a chore. Thanks for the distraction and the hundred & one questions and love you both for your concern. Mr Morgan, thanks for your continued ability to crack me right up - you should have your own show!! Ness & Laura - big hugs & kisses. And Russell, the "are you ok baby"s were much appreciated as were the little back & neck rubs.

As much as it was a great night by half past 12 I was shattered. No energy whatsoever. I'm not talking about being a little bit tired here, I mean full on exhaustion, like I've only ever felt before when I did a sponsored swim-marathon. So, time to go home & get to bed and wonder what dreams will come!