This where it all begins. 100 days without food. 100 days without alcohol.

I expect you're wondering what heinous crime I committed to be facing such punishment. Well, quite simply, I got fat. I over indulged; I ate when I was bored, tired, grumpy, happy, hangover (the list goes on) but very rarely did I eat just because I was hungry. Now I'm paying for it and it's time for drastic measures and a Lighter Life.

What is Lighter Life (LL)? Basically it's a very low calorie diet (vlcd) which means no food (other than LL food packs ie shakes, soups & bars) initially for 100 days. During that time you can expect to lose 3 stone. You also attend a weekly group session which is designed to make you change the way you 'relate' to food so that you don't put all the weight back on once you start eating 'real' food again.

This is seriously hardcore weight loss and I think I'm going to need SAS strength stamina to get through it but............BRING IT ON!!!

My last supper........
Not only was yesterday my last day of 'real' food for 100 days but also the 10 year anniversary of when my husband and I finally got together after six months of outrageous flirting. To celebrate this amazing event (the amazement coming from us - "ten years! ten years!. How the hell did we manage that???!!") he booked our favourite restaurant. It was a perfect night in every way. The wine was dry & crisp and cold. The starter - juicy, moist scallops swimming in a creamy mushroom & onion sauce - was delicious & I could easily have eaten it again had I not been saving some room for a tender, blue & bloody fillet steak with a spinach sauce, cute little saute potatoes, courgettes, carrots & crunchy French beans. Oh & I did manage a little bit of lemon sorbet to finish it all off too.

Just thinking about last night has made my mouth water & my tummy rumble. Why the hell am I torturing myself like this?????

Day One - Also to be known as the day I discovered lumps!!
After two G&Ts and two bottles of wine is it any wonder that I woke up this morning with a slight hangover. And my first thoughts on waking - God I need a hangover cure. A bacon butty or a fry up or something. Then my husband rolled over in bed and said "You're not allowed milk are you? Guess that means you can't have a cup of tea then" "thanks for reminding me. I'll have black coffee" I replied with what was, I think you'll agree, amazing restraint all things considered.

Now the LL programme says that you have to have four of their food packs a day but you can't have one of the bars until day 4 which is just great when you've got a hangover. Having put the nut crunch bar back in my LL bag (yes you get a snazzy bag and everything. Small things, as they say) I opted for a vanilla shake for breakfast and promptly nearly threw up! No it wasn't the taste, that was actually quite nice. It was because I hadn't mixed it properly and kept getting a mouth full of lumpy, powdery awfulness. Vile, but I had to drink it. So I opted for the tried and tested method used the world over - I held my nose, tipped my head back, poured it down my throat, tried not to chew any lumps and finally held my hand over my mouth to stop from throwing it back up again.

I'm glad to say that the day did improve after that. Work was a welcome distraction to the lack of food and I was starting to like the taste of black tea. I looked scornfully at the cakes & biscuits in the staff room - you can't tempt me you sugary delicacies from hell. I'm hardcore. I'm a Lighter Lifer - and didn't feel at all phased by my colleagues cheerfully munching donuts around me.

Lunch, a Thai chili soup - more lumps. God I hope I get better at making these things - was ok though not sure I'd have gone for that option in a restaurant.

In fact everything was going great guns until about 3pm when the hangover came back for a second visit and brought it's friend tiredness along for the ride. I needed a caffeine fix but was now yearning for a milky coffee. And no matter how hard I tried to concentrate on work, all I could think about was food. Not just any food but onion rings. Those crispy little circles of savory goodness. Stop it, Stop it, Stop it. Again with the self torture?!?

Somehow I not only managed to get through the afternoon but I also came home and cooked my husband his dinner (You'll have to guess what it was - I'm not falling in to that trap again) whilst I prepared my chicken soup pack and poured my 6th pint of water. Did I mention that you have to drink a minimum of 8 pints of water a day on this diet? No. Sorry I meant to but my teeth were starting to float and I had to pay a trip to the little girls room instead!

(Note to self: Ring LL group leader and ask to swap food packs. Chicken 8/10 for taste. Thai chili 5/10.)

I have one more food pack left to go today - might have a raspberry shake or maybe a hot chocolate before bed. The choices are endless! And then it starts all over again tomorrow.

Well, that's all for tonight. I'm tired and I figure I can't actually punish myself by thinking about food if I'm asleep can I - unless of course I start to dream about it. Shouldn't have said that, have probably jinxed myself now.

today's final thoughts:
Positive - I am looking forward to spending some serious cash on some sexy as hell lingerie which really shouldn't be covered up with clothing.
Negative - God I hope my boobs don't shrink. I love them just as they are.